Alone
by Justin Lim Kai Ze, Sekolah Tinggi Kluang. Published 28th March 2011.
She is at the market.
She is engulfed in an inferno of emotions, as eddy after eddy of familiar noises burst out from the hustle and bustle of the market. The colloquial shout of “Auntie, cheap fruits here!” makes her reminisce of the times where she was the one telling people about how fresh these apples are, or offering people free bites to convince them into buying some delicious oranges. She gazes at the young girl shouting behind the fruit stall, drops of sweat dripping off her forehead, and was instantly filled with a silent despair.
“Grandma!” Jane squeals, running over and giving her a bear hug. “I’ve missed you!”
She misses her granddaughter too; misses the days where she would bounce over and help scream “Lelong!” with her shrill voice. With a pang of sadness she realizes that it’s been nearly ten years since she’s heard that little girl’s laughter. She should be twenty years old now, perhaps blossoming as a feisty academic in some university, far away. Perhaps she misses her too?
“Ma.” Her two sons John and James call, with plastered smiles on their faces. She meets their languid greetings with hugs and kisses; their wives sit on the couch, counting the seconds until the visit ends.
The sweaty atmosphere of the market reminds her of the ripples of her muscles and veins as she set up the stall before the sun rose, carrying the tables, arranging the fruits. She gazes at her arms now, seeing sagging flesh; her forehead, scored with deep canyons of wrinkles. And suddenly she feels so frail, so fragile!
But wait! She spots a familiar face. Is that Nam? Nam was her best buddy at the old market. “Nam!” she yells. “Nam!” Nam whirls around and lets out a jubilant shout. In a second, she is enveloped in a gleeful hug.
“Auntie! Where’s Jane and John and James?” he asks cheerily, glancing around.
She stops, but tells him slowly: “I really, really don’t know,” staring at him in an infinite gaze of surrender.
She stands in the midst of a busy Saturday market, but she is alone.
