I sent this as an email assignment to my English teacher, Puan Norashikin, who looks as lovely and is as witty as ever. Her comments?
*laughs* So, here we have this email from Justin’s group. *laughs* It’s the longest, and why don’t we ask him to read it out loud for the class to hear.
I refused, mostly out of embarrassment than anything else – the entire class was looking at me, including my group members, who obviously had no idea what I had written on behalf of them – and pushed the thing to one of my friends. He stumbled over some words, but overall I thought it was a pretty good recital, but I might be wrong; I was keeping my head down, reading a book, avoiding my teacher’s eye.
*clears throat* That was very good! Excellent. It was a little bit long, but still…
I breathed a sigh of relief and lifted my head. I wonder if she knows I had whipped it up in the 25 minutes I had before tuition. So here it is, and yes, it’s long, but I guess frantically finishing it in such a short time forced me to finish a blunt, straightforward essay without much play with language.
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Peer pressure is an integral part of your social life that nearly always occurs during the transitional period between schools. When I first experienced the shocking atmosphere of teenagers’ lifestyle that brings that constant pressure to conform and ‘fit in’, I was in the first few months of secondary school education. I was looking for good friends to begin the journey with, people that would make good partners and be a support. I mixed into a group of popular guys, and then suddenly I was plunged into the whole affair of being exact copies of who they were. It took me a few months and a disastrous result slip to realize that I wasn’t living the high school life that I wanted to, that I was trying to live someone else’s life. The realization came slightly before the next examination, and I resolved to find a bunch of friends that would accept me for who I am. I did, and now I’m enjoying school life to the fullest.
I think that what happened was a small turn in a teenager’s life, the period when you start making decisions consciously and shaping them to who you really are, or towards who you strive to become. I realized that I didn’t need to be cool and popular, that I was comfortable just the way I was. I would hazard a guess that that is what you’re going through right now, starting to think about what’s best for you and your studies. Pertaining to your question: ‘I want good grades and keep my friends as well. Is this possible?’ Definitely.
First things first, remember that a secondary school education is just what it sounds like; you’re here to study and graduate. Hence, studies should always come first when faced with the choice, say between studying for that midterm exam and going to the movies with friends. The decision should be immediately ostensible, even though it might not seem so, but trust me, resisting temptations will prove to be an important ability in times to come. As you describe it, you have to do things to make your friends happy. Going over these words, do you really ‘have’ to? I thought I did, but even when I started making my own decisions, my friends came to respect me as a sensible person who has a clear mindset. In a way, standing up for yourself doesn’t alienate you from your band of friends, but it could even strengthen your relationships when you start respecting each other.
Even so, it is always advisable to keep a balance between your studies and hanging out with friends. A study freak is probably not going to help his social life much if he studies all day long, and in the same way a ‘popular’ person who does not study can not achieve his maximum potential while partying. Yet it is a precarious, nearly impossible balance to maintain. It’s probably important to remember that it’s okay if you tip the scales one in a while, but always remember to repay the debt. Planners and timetables were made for a reason; as a student with a hectic life, you might want to utilize these tools to organize your events and figure out when to study and when to play. Study hard, play hard; the saying is no joke. It is possible to be a model student with flourishing academics while having a healthy network of friends and contacts; you just have to figure out how.
As to your friend problem, there is one gold nugget of wisdom that could be helpful: “Friendship is when people know all about you but like you anyway.” Friends that last are those who accept you for who you are, those people who lend a shoulder to cry on, friends who don’t mind sharing absolute silence and still think that it’s okay. True friends are hard to find, but they are out there. And when you do discover them, you might be surprised to notice that you might have somehow overlooked them in the past.
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There are numerous cliches, overused little idioms that teachers often force us to include at all costs, those which I generally avoid on a principle-like basis. But it is true. In a way, even though this is not a particularly groundbreaking piece of writing, it was extremely important to me. Having someone read it out to an entire classroom to hear, even if they may not know if it was true, in a way served as a reminder that what has passed is the past, and looking for the silver lining in the dark cloud has indeed, yielded the best results of all.
